I received an email earlier today from my apartment leasing office:
Good evening! Hope your weekend has been fun and relaxing thus far. Please be advised that the water for the community will be shut off for an emergency leak valve repair tomorrow (Monday) from 10 am to 3 pm. Please make necessary arrangements to have all showers and laundry needs addressed prior to this timeframe. We will send a follow up email once the water has been turned back on."
After reading their regularly occurring message, all I could do was sigh, pack up my bags and head to my aunt's house. She bought her three bedroom home twelve years ago. She was in her mid-fifties when she closed on her first home, after nearly a lifetime of renting. Times like this, I wish I also had a house of my own. However, in my mind, that is not possible at this point for several reasons; low income, lack of direction, fear of commitment and fear of the unknown.
What would I do if someone broke in? I do not have a man, a dog, or a gun. It would be a very vulnerable situation. What if I can't afford it? I do not have a rich uncle waiting to save the day. It is all on me. What if I get tired of it and it won't sell? Many (especially single) women think this way, full of "what ifs"... but I know I should just TRUST God and press forward through all of my doubts...right?
I was on a Facebook group page yesterday, it is called The Prayer Room. A young woman posted a sincere prayer request. She said she has thoughts of suicide and needs the prayer warriors to reach out to God on her behalf.
Sometimes this life can seem too tough to bare.
A few years ago, I used to think about death every waking moment. Whenever I'd receive a gift or even think about buying something, a voice would say to me, "What's the point of having that? You're going to die anyway. Can't take it with you." Some evil voice was trying to convince me that I should be preparing to die, instead of fighting to live. I had to fight past these feelings. The negativity did not consume me. Praise God! The light chases out all darkness. I found my light hidden within. It is one inside ALL of us.
Life gets hard sometimes. No one promised it would be easy. You see so many women looking good, wearing nice clothes, driving cute cars, with a big bright smile on their faces, but only the Lord knows the struggles they face behind close doors. I have two beautiful friends who used to be beat by their boyfriends on a regular basis. I have another who takes antidepressants. I have another who found out the love of her life is actually married and has a family in a town three hours away. I have another college-educated colleague that was evicted and had to live in her car for a few days.
In life there will always be problems. One thing we know for sure, we are always either coming out of a storm or heading into one, but we must remain GRATEFUL. We must realize someone is always going through worse circumstances than we are. We should put ourselves in a position of power, not of weakness. We must live to help others, not join their pity party, (no matter how bad things get).
I grew up an only child. Even now in my thirties, when people get frustrated with me I remind them I was an only child. I used to want everything my way. I did not understand, "No." Even with God, I used to be a spoiled brat. Asking, demanding, crying for what I want. I use to beg and plead and He always came through. He always answers my plea. However, usually when my prayers were answered, I neglected to recognize them. I mean once my prayers were answered, I did not even remember the desperation I felt when asking for whatever it was that I (tearfully) requested.
It is like God said, "Daughter, you asked for a nice car, remember? And now you have one? What do you think? Then my spoiled butt would look at Him all bewildered thinking, "Lord, did I ask for this? Oh, I did? Well, Lord can you bless me with some gas money ? It's hard out here, Lord. Please Lord. Help me, please." The requests would never end. Be Grateful. Don't be a brat with God. Thank Him for everything you have. As they say, "keep and attitude of gratitude."
Don't live your life like that old song, "I can't get no satisfaction." We should have satisfaction in the fact that we are here, in the land of the living, ready to receive another day. That is a miracle within itself.
Even if your prayers are answered you will face other problems. Many of you prayed for a husband; Now you have one and you are praying for patience. Many have prayed for a house; Now you have one and you are praying that nothing else needs repair.
Every prayer answered seems to have led to more prayer requests. The stress will overwhelm you, unless you stop everyday and say, "Thank you". Be GRATEFUL. Life gets hard. Life can be a little easy for a short time. Then hard, then easy. Then great, Then a little hard again...It changes with every turn, however, the most important thing to remember is to remain GRATEFUL.
Remain constant in your gratefulness. Remember where you used to be and Thank the Lord for how far you have come!
Deuteronomy 30:19-20 New King James Version (NKJV)19:
I call heaven and earth as witnesses today against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing; therefore choose life, that both you and your descendants may live; 20: that you may love the Lord your God, that you may obey His voice, and that you may cling to Him, for He is your life and the length of your days; and that you may dwell in the land which the Lord swore to your fathers, to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, to give them.”